My mind is continually dancing around with hundreds of ideas, thoughts, and songs. My mind is especially active when change is in the wind. Tis such a time. Through the busyness of the week it is sometime hard to find time to think. I am grateful for quieter weekends.
So yesterday, midday, I had to take my imagination out for a walk.
I have to do this periodically, mostly for sanity's sake, and also for inspiration. Just over a week ago Sean and I enjoyed Spring Break via a road trip through the Redwoods, up Hwy. 101 and over to Portland. After a busy term of work and school it was a lovely getaway and our first vacation together (not counting the honeymoon of course). It was a trip of much laughter, catching up with friends and family, and an overall recharge of life's battery. The scenic drive provided fond reflection on the first three months of marriage. A realization came upon us that in just two generous months, we will be making another significant transition. Coming out of the jovial and restful break I feel like I have a more clear vision--an added zest for life.
Zest in life, like a good seasoning on a savory meal, adds intensity to ones outlook. This new-found zestiness is not only a result of rest and a good dose of Mom's home-cooked meals and Dad's encouraging demeanor, but it is also a result of coming into a more developed comfort of marriage. While Sean and I are still "newlyweds", we are past the initial "everything is new" stage in which you figure out routines and what it looks like to merge two lives. There is a whole new level of ease and exhilaration. There was something about returning to our Portland home where our roots grow deep with friends and family for the first time since getting married. It was marvelous.
This maturing comfort in my marriage and thereby myself has allowed my imagination to flourish to new heights. And so we get back to yesterday's walk....
There has been a ghastly chill in the Basin lately. So although the sun shone through the window, I was not going to be fooled. I dawned a series of three jackets, a scarf, and an earwarmer headband. I slung my bag around my shoulder and prepared to let my imagination loose on the downtown streets of Klamath Falls.
Two blocks into it I was sweating like a pig in a blanket (turns out it was the hottest day we'd had in weeks). But I wasn't going to let that slow down my creativity. There was still wind on the air. I didn't bother to pull up my hair for it seemed to represent my swirling mind, going this way and that, blocking my face here and there. As strange as it seems, my dancing wind-blown hair served as a reminder to think outside the box.
Often when I let my imagination loose I find myself creating wild and inventive scenes or ideas. However this time I did not see bizarre, artistic ideas, instead I felt.
As I walked I felt old. Not in the sense of aches and pains or even in the way of having years experience under my belt. It was a feeling of great appreciation, as if I was looking back on a long lifetime and felting content. Perhaps it was just my already nostalgic soul taking a deep breath. However I can't help but think it is something more. I looked at a teenage couple walking down the street hand in hand, a group of 10 year old giggling girls gazing through a shop window. It induced a feeling of wanting to love more. The feeling was still but strong. It made me reflect on the life I am living, on how capable of love we are. What a beautiful thing it is, thank you Lord. What more do people want than to be loved? I wonder how much more love I am capable of but have simply not tapped in to. How often do I let my emotions, my tiredness, my just-being-a-pain-in-the-butt, stop me from smiling, taking the extra time to ask how someone is really doing, making someone feel cared about.
I guess in my optimistic mind getting older means learning how to love more. And in that instance I was able to be old and look at my life from a different perspective. Now that may not make a ton of sense, I'm not sure if I even understand it fully. But I feel that I have been given a glimpse of the potential I have to show love and be content in that. Oh how incredible it is that we've been given imagination and the ability to grow in Love.
So cheers to going growing old, and living today.
*(picture) A tag my mom made for Sean and I-thanks momma!
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