Let the Lettuce Speak

I am inspired by simple and sometimes strange things. Fresh produce, for example, makes my mind run wild with color schemes and textures- it makes me want to paint, cook, and puts me in an overall lively mood. This time of year in the Pacific Northwest is prime for farmers markets, and garden food. 

A forest walk by our house

The past two weeks I have been walking, a lot. It was prompted by the beautiful weather and also by the fact that we only had one car. So while Sean would be at work I would take it upon myself and walk. Everywhere. I would dawn my sneakers and walk to the grocery store ( walking back was always more challenging...), walk miles to the bus stop and go into the big city, walk in the park, walk to the sandy shores of the Sound,  walk walk walk. Walking always allows me to process, and pray. I often find myself not walking alone but feeling the very real presence of Jesus walking beside me. It is in these times my walking turns to great reflection and I plunge into deep thought.    

Amid great change comes a reevaluation of purpose. What in the world am I doing with my life. Yes I am enjoying living in this new place, and even more so I am loving being married and having a chance to stay at home for awhile. But what about my deep soul dreams?- The pulling on my heart I've had for years to reach out and walk beside those who are hurting. How does that get fulfilled?  During this particularly long walk  I begged the question, what am I supposed to do with my life that can make a difference, that can show love to those around me. 

In these two months of living in Everett I have had the chance to settle in and rest. It has been a beautiful time of fellowship with my husband and our friends and family. I have never not worked so it was an odd (but wonderful) time of just being, resting, and setting up house. However I know me well enough to know I like to work and I need to have some working outlet to stay sane. So I started looking for jobs a few weeks ago and applied for a couple positions. I knew my heart was in social work so I threw all doubt to the wind and applied for some openings. One in particular I had my heart set on. I was able to get an interview (which went great) but would have to wait awhile till I heard the verdict. Patience is a virtue. That is what I kept telling myself. 

Beach walk by our house

In the course of this walk to the store my change/purpose seeking endeavor was on high, questions were racing in my head throughout the walk, into Trader Joes, and back home. It clung to my brain and I continued to mull over deep thoughts. I really wanted the job I had interviewed for; it would start me out on a career path that I have had been dreaming about for years. It would allow me to pursue something that I feel is knit into who I am. I know I am supposed to help people rise up from brokenness and step into healthier lifestyles that are wrought with hope and love. I have always felt that part of why I am walking on fresh soil today is to fulfill just that. But when, where, how, and why? At this point in the walk I began to battle between filing my head with doubt, getting frustrated at not knowing the specifics, and also getting excited because I could feel purpose growing. 

This is where the produce comes in. I came home from that long walk  and chopped up tomatoes, onions, fresh basil, and peppers. It sounds ridiculous but I felt like my mind had gone through a proverbial car wash. I was able to take a deep breath and let the pressure of getting a job (which I had put on myself) roll away. I let the olive oil simmer in the pan and added fresh minced garlic and fresh ground pepper. Next came the onions, bell peppers, and tomatoes. In another pan I cracked two eggs and stirred them up into a scramble. When all was finished cooking I topped with fresh basil from our windowsill and parmesan cheese. I could almost hear my dad saying "just take one day at a time" as I savored each bite.

Yesterday , August 20th, 2012, I had my first day of work as a Case Manager for a local organization in Everett. I get to work with several families as they go through transitional housing and recovery. I get to meet with them and walk with them as they gain new skills, seek employment, and begin living more enriched lives in their new found communities. I get to work with an amazing team of like-minded people who are committed to serving others. 

I am stepping into a place of purpose, this is where I belong. 

Curlers, Coffee and Other Morning Deliberations.

 It was a typical morning, I walked outside to water the plants while I was waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. I stepped out barefooted and then had an amusing realization. I had just stepped out in my bright kimono (aka my circa 1950s flowered silk robe) with curlers in my hair piled on top of my head. Great. I am now that neighbor...I quickly looked around to see if there were any people I would have to avoid from now on and dashed in the house, clinging to my kimono. Fortunately, I did not spot anyone, and hopefully, no one spotted me.

Ever since I was a little girl I have taken a liking to vintage silk robes. If my memory serves me correctly, my slight obsession began upon meeting our Japanese exchanged student, Yoshimi, who lived with us for several months when I was about five years old. I recall her parting gift to my mother, a beautiful light green true Japanese Kimono. I thought it was one of the most beautiful pieces of clothing I had ever laid eyes on. In fact I remember sneaking into my parents closet when they were out gardening just to take a peak at that marvelous garment. While I have never had a true kimono to my name I have since acquired many "kimonos" of sorts. 



Others will tell you, as I will also say, that I am an old soul. This morning with the curlers in my hair, '50s robe on, early jazz music humming through my speakers, sitting in our 1943 yellow kitchen, and black coffee in hand, I feel as nostalgic as ever. 


Life is full of constant transition. Moving, meeting new people, going new places, and even daily change makes one realize how important it is to be oneself. To let you be you. It is so easy to let others define you, or to simply let the culture around you dictate who you are. But what about the talents and passions that are uniquely you? I'll be the first to admit that there have been times where I have been totally floundering in trying to be someone I'm not, or putting expectations on myself that are unrealistic and foolish. 


Moving into an actual "home" home has propelled me into a role in which I actually feel more myself. I greet and get greeted by the mailwoman each day, we get the pleasure of having friends and family come stay, and Sean and I can come home to a place where we cook dinner and then get to go paint and collage, or recently in Sean's case, wood work. This morning, in my nostalgic state, I can't help but reflect on the people, life circumstances, and history that has helped form who I am today. Oh how many people I have to thank! Life is truly about relationships. I have been blessed with incredible friends, family, teachers, coworkers, bosses, and with various encounters with strangers you meet that give you a slice of wisdom in the brief moments that your lives collide. 

So yes, I am an old soul, a hopeless romantic. I am constantly marveling at the mysteries of life, the sorrow and beauty of humanity, and I tend to think in metaphor. I like old floral prints, mason jars, early jazz, and my coffee black. I swoon over poetry and have the tendency to get carried away with how alluring the moon is or how majestic the ocean shore can be. I am not a stranger to tragedy and have a ferocity toward the unjust. I know I still have much to learn in life, which both thrills and humbles me. I am excited to be growing old with the love of my life but plan on always being youthful in spirit. 

I'm sure this morning won't be the first time I'll get caught looking like I belong in an era other than my own. But you know something? I think it is time to stop being so concerned about what others think and confidently step into the person that the Lord created me to be: an old soul that is learning, loving, and living life one bubble off center. 

*Above photo of Sean and I courtesy of Heidi Helser-Photography